Feeling Guilt

Erik and I made the decision to switch over to all formula last night after MANY discussions about what to do and after talking to other friends/family about it. I spent many days/nights crying over this and trying to figure out what to do. It was an extremely hard decision and I really hope I made the right choice. Keaton was just not getting enough from me and he seemed way more content with the formula supplementing. I breast fed him for the last time yesterday afternoon and bawled knowing that I was making the switch. I know I will feel better about it in a couple days but right now I feel nothing but guilt. I know I will still be a good mother it is just hard to make these decisions. I was formula fed as a kid and was very healthy growing up. It's a shame that the world seems to "look down" on women who do not breast feed because that is half the reason I feel so much guilt. Maybe I am "giving up" too fast but I really needed to make the switch for many reasons. My emotions are playing a role in my decision as well. I was spending HOURS crying every day over the breast feeding issues and the demand it was putting on me. I really need to do what's best for the family and I feel that this is the best choice....once the guilt goes away. I hope everyone can understand my decision and not "look down" on me for it. I honestly feel that breast feeding is not for everyone and even if he isn't getting the most perfect form of nutrition, he will still be a healthy baby boy by the love and nurture I will give him all of his life.

On a side note, Del tore his ACL the other day and now needs surgery on Tuesday. I didn't know a dog could injure their ACL but apparently it is very common in toy breed dogs. So my baby boy goes under the knife on Tuesday with a 12 week recovery period after. He must stay confined in a crate for 12 weeks only coming out to go to the bathroom. Can you believe I can not hold and sleep with my baby Del for 12 whole weeks?!?!?! It will be so tough because he will be crying and whining to come out all the time. I feel so bad for him. When he tore his ACL the other day, I bawled my eyes out!!!!! He let out a big yelp and I turned around and he was laying on the floor trying to get up. I didn't know what was happening so I started freaking out. Once Erik got him on his feet he was hopping around on 3 legs. He is unable to use his back left leg at all and drags it around to walk. My poor poor baby! This should be interesting when it comes time for his long recovery period. Taking care of a newborn AND a dog after a major surgery should be fun. I hope it goes well for both me and my little Del. : (