Bad Things Happen to Good People

I will admit, I was always the person who thinks "Oh that will never happen to me!" but after the last couple weeks...I have completely changed my tune! About two weeks ago I got a very upsetting phone call that put me in an emotional whirlwind for the Memorial Day weekend. The statement "You are at an extreme high risk for a miscarriage" just crushed all my excitement about being a mother around Christmas. I couldn't believe I was being told this news and I immediately started bawling...there was nothing else I could do. I was told my progestrone levels were still dropping and that I needed progesterone daily along with the biweekly butt shots I was already receiving. I waited all weekend long to schedule a follow up ultrasound to make sure things were still progressing. Thursday May 29th I FINALLY get in for an ultrasound. As soon as it started I KNEW that the news was going to be bad. I couldn't see the heartbeat anymore and she said it was only measuring 6 weeks 3 days when I should have been about 8 weeks. As Erik was holding my hand, my heart just sunk and the tears started to stream down my face. The ultrasound tech told us to wait in the room and the radiologist would call us on the phone in the examining room (so personal isn't it?) with the results. We already knew it was going to be bad so we waited about 10 minutes and the phone started ringing (I was afraid to answer it and it took a good 4 rings for me to finally pick up)...I pick it up and a lady says, "Hi Lesli (in a chipper voice) this is ______ (I can't remember her name), I'm just letting you know that you are experiencing a loss...please call your OB's office to schedule a follow up visit for tomorrow" That was it and Erik and I packed up our things and walked out. Erik has been great though, he keeps me laughing and has been doing everything for me (which he normally does anyway) so it hasn't been so bad.

Friday comes...Erik and I go to the doctors office to listen to the doctor tell us about what happened and what we need to do next. We decided to have a D&C procedure done (a surgical procedure to remove everything) which is scheduled for Friday June 6th at 10:30am. I was hoping for something much earlier but I'll take what I can get I guess. So this will be another long week of waiting. I just want to get this over with so I can move on.

So no more Christmas baby for Erik and I! We had so many plans for the holidays that have now been thrown away. Why do bad things happen to good people? I will never understand an answer to that question....