I miss Erik TONS when he is not here and dread the days he works out of the house during the week (he works 2 sometimes 3 days a week out of the house, the other days he is at home)...I just like having him here because he is great with Keaton and is always willing to give me a break when I need it plus I have someone to talk to. I wind up texting him all day long when he is at work because I miss him.
Now, I would NEVER hurt Keaton and I am putting my feelings aside when it comes to caring for him but I just don't enjoy it like I should. I expected a big life change but I think I am struggling with it being so drastic and quick. My other symptoms include: no appetite, constantly feeling nervous/anxious, crying at everything, feeling like a failure, and no energy.
Overall, I feel like a terrible mother and I know that I need to get the help I need. I hope to get this under control so I can enjoy life again with my family.
4 comments:
One more thought (I responsed to your Central PA post): for me, getting out of the house really helps. For walks around the neighborhood with the stroller, for short trips to the store, anywhere. One day a couple of weeks ago, Cayden and I went to Walmart for a jar of mayonnaise -- that was it, just a jar of mayo and an opportunity to get out of the house and into the world. A change of scenery and a "task" really seem to help me keep my sanity at times.
Lesli, please don't feel badly about needing to ask for help. The hormonal changes that go along with childbirth in addition to the extreme sleep deprivation can really mess with your body chemistry. It is definitely ok to ask for help.
I completely agree with Liz. I was just about to go to the doctor for PPD when I joined a mom's group (Caleb was about 3.5 months old). This really forced me to get out of the house and gave me something to look forward to several days each week. Even now on days that I work, I will take a walk to the grocery store with Caleb first thing in the morning. Getting out of the house and not feeling like you need to be sitting next to Keaton while he naps and plays can really make a big difference.
I agree with the two girls above. Try to run an errand each day, or go visit someone. Just try to get out. I also try to take a walk each night either with DH or a neighbor. Go out once in a while with a friend for dinner or have a date night with Erik on a regular basis. Doing these little things can help tremendously. Just know that as he gets older, you'll also have a little more "me time".
I know it's a bit of a hike for you, but if you're interested, a new moms group meets each Thursday (10 a - noon) in the Hershey Med Fitness Center. It's great to hear from other moms and see babies of all different ages, to see how they develop similarly and differently. Next Thursday we're learning how to do infant massage. And you can weigh your baby each meeting. Just a thought, if you're interested -- no sign ups, no committments, it's just a drop-in-when-you're-up-to-it group.
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