I can't stop researching and asking people about my parenting skills wondering if I am doing something wrong. I spend hours after Keaton goes to bed reading and looking up information about sleeping through the night, napping in crib, eating solids, milestones, you name it! I can't seem to get this thought out of my head that I am doing something wrong with raising my son. People can tell me a hundred times that I am doing a great job but I have a hard time believing it. I hate that I am this way because I really think I am missing out on the enjoyment of being a parent. Don't get me wrong...I love being a parent and watching Keaton grow everyday is such a blessing but I struggle everyday to relax! I am so worried that I ask myself things like...Will Keaton stay on his schedule today?, Will he take 2 naps today? Will he nap longer than 1 hour? Will he take all his bottle? What if he cries when we go to the mall?. I stress when I have to leave him with Erik for a couple hours so I end up texting him the whole time to check up. I trust that Erik can take care of things, I just worry that something will happen or Erik won't do something quite the way I like to do things, etc. Why do I feel this way all the time?
Let's take Keaton's napping issues...I worry myself to death about how I am "training" him to nap. I sit and read all these different sleep training techniques that my head is about to explode. Every "expert" has a different opinion and it makes a new mom go crazy with confusion. I can't stop worrying about this!!!! I'm trying so hard to be happy that I am being consistent with my abilities and that one day everything will just fall into place. This napping issue is just ONE thing that I stress about on a daily basis.
I knew that this parenting adventure was not going to be easy but wow, I am beyond stressed! I just want everything I do to be perfect for my son and I am sacrificing my happiness for him. I know that this is not healthy but I can't seem to lose this knot in my stomach and this constant nervous feeling that I have. Hopefully someday soon I will learn to relax and believe in my abilities but this is something I have struggled with my entire adult life.
3 comments:
Lesli-
I think every new mother doubts themselves somewhat. Listen to what Keaton is telling you- he will give you the biggest clues as to how to do things and which ways work best. Everyone, and their mother, will have an opinion. Sometimes the internet can give us too much information. And you will make mistakes- heck we all do! (And so did our parents!)
Simply put, you do what works best for your son (and no one knows him, better than you and Erik).
I hope this makes you feel a little better!
i couldn't have said it better then the above poster. take care of yourself lesli!
When it comes to sleep everyone has an opinion---and its enough to make anyones head spin, let alone a new mom who is sleep deprieved. Good Luck! I feel ya, I constantly worry about things too! Have you talked to your Doctor about it???
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